You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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