There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
