DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
