Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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