My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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