is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
