Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
