He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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