I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
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