can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I party with great urgency now.
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