All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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