She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
