Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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