dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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