There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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