hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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