So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
