You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
