weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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