i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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