what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
