i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
