I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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