i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
