her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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