Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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