he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
