SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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