I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
