No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
