I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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