There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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