Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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