Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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