Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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