Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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