i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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