garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
