grandma shit on top of the toilet
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
