Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
