Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
