What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
