we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
