I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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