Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
