Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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