I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm really into asian looking animals
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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