He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
