thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
