As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
